It’s been ages since I last posted. I hope you’ve been doing well. My life has gone through a huge transformation recently. My fiancé and I broke up a couple months ago. It’s been the hardest time of my life. After all of this time, I finally feel able to write again.
A few weeks ago, I came back to the states from Canada. I am starting over in Indiana. After gaining ground here, I have no idea what I’m going to do with my life. I do know that I’d like to make my way back to Québec one day, though. I’ve never felt as much at home as I did in that winter wonderland, with its flowing rivers, forests of pine, and mountainous views.
Or maybe I’ll go to Ireland, where someone special to me that I’ve known for over half of my life resides. While I’m there, I could do research for my books as well, maybe study at university. Either way, the future is uncertain.
For now, I’m here, surrounded by cornfields and family and endless sky. There are views that stretch on for miles because the land is so flat. It makes me feel small.
The past few days, I have been watching (binge-watching) Avatar: The Last Airbender from Nickelodeon. There was a quote in an episode that played today that is very relatable to my life right now.
“This place is a prison. I don’t want to make a life here.” -Zuko
“Life happens wherever you are. You don’t have to make it.” -Uncle Iroh
It’s not that I dislike Indiana (after all, my family lives here) but after living in a francophone country that I absolutely adored, I feel like I’m backtracking. I know that I need to learn to love my life here because that’s all I have right now. There are so many lessons to be learned from this experience.
I have lost hope in moments and given into despair.
“You must never give into despair. Allow yourself to slip down that road, and you surrender to your lowest instincts. In the darkest times, hope is something you give yourself. That is the meaning of inner strength.” -Uncle Iroh
There is so much wisdom in the words of Iroh. I’m trying to heed this message because I had lost my inner strength for a while there and it was scary. I’m slowly healing and learning more and more from what’s happening. Bear with me as I stumble through this transition.
People keep telling me that time heals all wounds but sometimes I feel as though my clock is broken.
What about you? How do you get through a break-up? Do you have any advice for me?
See you next time. (I’ll be sure to post something less dreary!) Until then.