Worm Food 

I’ve been feeling quite speculative of late. Death has been on my mind a lot, so I feel that I need to look it in the eyes and address it. ☠️

Nothing too morbid, really. Just thoughts relating to that theme. (Don’t worry, I wanna live to be 131-years-old. 👵 Maybe older. Science is getting there. 😉)

Yesterday, I caught myself thinking that one day, at my funeral, I don’t want my loved ones walking into see my chemically-preserved body laying there before them in an open casket. I wish I hadn’t seen my grandmother like that and I don’t want my daughter or grandchildren to see me like that. Don’t get me wrong, her service was lovely. There were even mentions of angels being present to witness it.

Though I have never before thought much on how I want my funeral to go, I would want my organs donated and my body cremated. At the ceremony, I would rest before everyone in a simple yet elegant urn with the symbol of a triquetra engraved on it, my healing crystals encompassing it like a moat would a castle.

On the same table there could be simple oil lamps and/or candles lit, flower petals laid out , and pictures of my loved ones with me. 👫👨‍👩‍👧 People could place flowers on the table to pay their respects. 💐

The service wouldn’t be in a funeral parlor. Rather, the place would be somewhere brimming with positive energy. Everyone would get their closure and toast to my memory with my favorite alcohol: mead, or hydromel.

There could be a gathering around a fire. Everyone could write the words they had meant to say to me when I was alive and toss the paper into the fire for closure. 🔥They could do this while speaking well of me to comfort my will-be husband Guillaume (if he surpasses me), our potential future child, and my daughter Kaylee, who’s sleeping next to me now. She is too young to comprehend the full life ahead of her. Her head is probably occupied with the sparkly horse that she dreams of often. 🎠🎆💖✴️

My ashes would be kept through the grieving process by either my child(ren) or my husband and then spread somewhere beautiful when they are ready to let me go and move on with their lives. Perhaps France or Ireland or somewhere we had planned to visit but never went. Or somewhere we had made unforgettable memories together.

The thought of death–that one day this body will feed the worms–used to scare the hell out of me. It still does sometimes. That’s normal, though. Death is unknown to those who haven’t experienced it, and it’s usually a permanent experience. At least to our memory.
 
I have more to live for at this point in my life than I ever have before. Every moment with my daughter is cherished just as my hopes are that we will soon be reunited with my beloved. Every moment that we have on this earth is precious.

My biggest fear is either losing memories of my family and loved ones, or dying before I have the chance to spend a full life with them. I think that’s why this subject has been haunting me lately. (Also, I’ve been thinking a lot about ties that need to be mended.) Personally, I don’t think we should avoid thinking about these subjects just because they are uncomfortable. This is the reality of life.

These fears must be learned to cope with. It’s all part of the human experience.

What about you? Do you have anything to add? How does this post make you feel? Does it invoke any thoughts?

Yes, I am aware that this is a touchy subject. With that in mind, please write your comments with a respect of others’ beliefs and opinions. Try to go through life remembering that others having a different opinion than your own does you no harm. That will carry us far as a people.

Go hug someone you love. Namaste, you guys. 😘

xoxo Kristen

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