Expectations Without Communication πŸ˜

Sorry that I took a while to post. I’ve been going through some shit. πŸ’© Hope you guys have been all right, though. πŸ€žπŸ™

This isn’t what we are here to talk about but I’d like to start with saying that I just realized that I never did end up going to the farmer’s market.. I moved out that day and it was busy and I’ve been scrambling ever since so my apologies for that, folks. I’ll try to hit it up before summer’s end. Then again, I’m broke so… we’ll see πŸ˜… 

What I would like to discuss today is something that’s been on my mind off and on all day… I’m not sure exactly how to pinpoint the specific theme I’m running with so I’m gonna try some shotgun effect out here and hope I hit the target. My mind is one big random mess at the moment. My thoughts are a toy that’s been wound up and is walking around in circles until it eventually slows down and comes to a stop, then needs to be wound up again. (I may overshare but at least I’m honest. πŸ™„πŸ˜…) 

In that windup toy of my mind, I’ve been thinking about how a person can have expectations of how other people should treat them and what other people should be doing for them. If those expectations aren’t met then the person gets dissatisfied and acts out. They don’t share their needs with the other person involved, for instance, and are disappointed when they don’t get what they anticipated out of a situation. 

Well, I guess I want to stress just how important it is not to do that. Look, I have done it. Lots of us have. 

Here’s the thing, though. 

Nothing good ever comes out of a situation when we are expecting something whilst not communicating it. 

If you expect other people to treat you well but you’re not gonna be kind to them unless you get your way then they are never going to treat you well. If you go out of your way to be kind to them from the beginning, however, then they are far more likely to return the favor. You have to give to get, not the other way around. Whatever you put out in the universe, or in a relationship, reflects back at you. Of course, there are some people who will always be assholes no matter what you do but.. if it’s like that then maybe you’re not meant to be in their life and vice versa.

Kindness is a choice and change is a choice. A person has to be ready to choose to be kind and to choose to change. You can’t make those choices for them. If you’re in a relationship with someone and you are expecting them to change and work on it with them but they don’t put in any effort, then they aren’t ready to make that choice.

In another scenario, if you are mad at someone and choose to give them the silent treatment and expect them to come running to you to fix it, then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. You have to be the one to tell them how you’re feeling so that together you can try to resolve the problem. People cannot read your mind. They might not even realize that anything is wrong.

No matter the situation, this principle is important. Relationships require communication. Being up front with someone is the best route to take and honesty goes pretty damn far. 

Trying goes far too. Sometimes you get discouraged and you want to give up. Making an effort is hard sometimes but it’s better than making excuses.

We all have to make an effort to better our relationships and to improve ourselves regardless of how others treat us. If we feel like we aren’t getting treated well and nothing we do can fix it then drop the people. Find new people. If they can’t make an effort to stay in your life then they don’t belong there. 

That may be harsh but it’s the way I see it. I’ve had too many toxic relationships to think otherwise. Yet here I am, on the bumpy and winding road to self improvement. If you fall you just have to pick yourself back up again. Rinse. Repeat.

What about you? How do you feel about this topic? Do you have anything to add? I’d love to hear from you in the comment section below. (: 

Here’s hoping that I hit my target. 🎯

xoxo Kris

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